Evaluate Your Relationships and Surround Yourself With People Who Inspire You


I’ve always been the sort of person who prefers having a few close friends rather than many acquaintances as it’s more fulfilling to surround myself with people who know me well and have my best interests at heart and vice versa. But over the years, as I met new people in my twenties and early thirties, my social network grew and I found myself spreading my energy thin by spending time with people who either did not inspire me or who didn’t bring much value to my life.

Everything changed last year when I took a self-development course called The Evolution Group. I had a complete paradigm shift! It was a total AH-HA moment I will never forget.

This is what happened: During one of the sessions we were asked to take inventory of our friends and really evaluate what each person brings to your life. I initially procrastinated doing this for days as I was hesitant to come to these inevitable conclusions.

However, after some deep reflection I was able to evaluate my relationships and really see which of those were not bringing me any joy. This task was actually very liberating and improved my life significantly.

Here are the questions that helped me take a good look at my relationships. I wrote them in a journal and I encourage you to do the same.

1. Does this person inspire me and challenge me to be better? This really hit home as I realized I was guilty of spending time with people who didn’t inspire or energize me, but instead, drained me. Now obviously there will be times that your friends will go through rough times and need a shoulder to lean on and I’m not saying dump your best friend because she’s going through a breakup. But, if you have a friend who really brings you down time and time again, then maybe it’s time to evaluate this relationship.

2. If you have a lot of friends, then sort your friends into lists: The first category being “safe”, meaning those you adore, who inspire and challenge you. “Neutral” meaning those people you don’t care about either way and “unsafe” ie. the aforementioned energy suckers.

3. Take action on these lists: Tell your “safe” friends via a phone call, letter or email how much you adore them. Be specific. Tell your friends why they are important to you and make a point of spending more time with them! As for your relationships deemed “neutral”, Stuart Knight, leader of The Evolution Group suggests either promoting them or moving them to the unsafe list. Happily, I didn’t have to do any “relationship-dumping”, I just simply started spending more time with people I adore and closed the door on the ones I wouldn’t miss.

The beautiful thing about closing the door on relationships that bring you down is that you open the door to meeting new and inspiring people.

Since taking this course my current relationships with my closest girlfriends improved immensely because I realized how truly valuable they were to my well-being and I starting spending more time with them instead of spreading myself thin with relationships that weren’t as valuable.

I hope you try this out, because I believe it will really improve you life.

Be joyous and be well.

Author: Joy McCarthy, owner of , is a certified holistic nutritionist and health coach with a passion for inspiring people to eat well, live well and feel more joyous on a daily basis

Share Button